Top 10 Shows of 2008

Well, since tomorrow is New Year's eve I figured I should write a blog about the best shows I've been to this year to round up my 2008. These shows hold good memories, so here it goes.

10. The Klix at the Meatlocker on May 23, 2008.
This show included The Stun Gunz, The Four Anger Drunks, The Creetons, Rip It Up, and Hooliganism. It was all good fun and all the people I love were there.
9. The Casualties in Jersey City on April 18, 2008.
I don't remember really who opened this show. This show was what a real underground show should be. It was in someone's small apartment and packed with mad punks.
8. Leftover Crack at Tompkins Square Park on August 3, 2008.
This show was a great one because I love this band and it's always fun to see them. It's always a fun day at Tompkins. Some of the bands that played were Team Spider and Star Fucking Hipster.
7. Time Again in Hackensack, Brooklyn, and Philadelphia on July 11, 12, and 13, 2008.
For me I think the best night was in Brooklyn. It was just a fun trip there. All nights were really great, though. The bands that played these nights were The Klix, Exit Only, Sedated, Lower Class Brats, Wednesday Night Heroes, and The Casualties. LCB's best night was definitely in Brooklyn and WNH's best night was the Philly show.
6. Krum Bums at the Knitting Factory on May 14, 2008.
This was in the Knitting Factory's basement and it was crazy. The bands that played were Copyright Chaos and Above All Hope.
5. The Germs at Blender Theater on August 8, 2008.
This was an amazing show. I really didn't think Shane West could pull it off, but he definitely did. He was so great up there and kept going after all the shit some of the crowd put him through. He is one of my heroes now because of that night.
4. Time Again at the Knitting Factory on April 5, 2008.
This show is very important to me because I met Jon there. If it weren't for that show I don't think we would have been close. I just remember meeting new people and having a good time.
3. Rancid at Irving Plaza on August 13, 14, 15, 16, and 17, 2008.
Everyone must have seen this coming. All these shows were amazing and I'm happy I went to all five. Bands that played these shows were Murphy's Law, Shiragirl, Madball, Bomb the Music Industry, Big D and the Kids Table, and Theo and the Skyscrapers (plus a few more).The most memorable night was August 15. Lars called me out and gave me his guitar pick to thank me for coming out to every show so far. It was great, they all were.
2. Mest at The Stone Pony on November 4, 2008.
As lame as it sounds, this was a wonderful show. I mean, I know it wasn't all of Mest, but Tony was good enough. I've never though I'd be so happy to see someone again. All the bands that opened sucked so they are not worth mentioning. They played a great set that night and I was happy to see them one final time.
1. Rancid at the Music Box in Los Angeles on October 1 and 3, 2008.
These were the two greatest shows I've been to all year, especially the one on October 1. The bands that also played were TSOL, Manic Hispanic, and Society's Parasites. I think my best birthday present was Lars remembering me from New York. The energy at those shows were incredible. The crowd was intense as well.
Well, that's it. Those were the best shows of 2008 for me. Thanks for reading...

Mother Knows Best

Yep, it's that time of month! ...For a blog, haha. This blog is going to be dedicated to my amazing mother. She definitely deserves it. I can't even begin to thank her, honestly. She is seriously the best mom, I mean that with all my heart. A lot of the times I wish I could go back and thank her back then as well. I hate being emotional and recently I have been and it sucks, but oh well, this isn't about that at all.
My mom treats me very well. She claims it's because "I'm a good girl". But I will honestly never know why she is so good to me. A lot of the time I take her for granted and don't realize how great I have it and looking back I wish I could kick myself for not taking notice. She does everything for me. I wouldn't be here today if it weren't for her. Well, obviously. But I also mean I wouldn't be where I am today if it weren't for her.
She supports everything I do and everything I'm into. She respects me and lets me be who I am. I really wish I could give her everything she gave me. I wish I could show her how important she is to me and how much she really means to me. She's my hero and my inspiration. Seriously, a new camera today that I didn't even ask for? I couldn't even speak when she gave it to me. Seriously, flying out to California to see my favorite band on my birthday? That is insane. Seriously, giving up her life to help my every need? I'm speechless. Only she would do that.

People, including my friends think she's a bit crazy and out there. And you know what? She is. But I'm proud to say she is my mother because with all honesty and coming from the bottom of my heart, I wouldn't want any other mom in the whole entire world. No one could even pay me all the money in the world to have her because she is the best thing in my life and I could never live without her.
So this is to you mom. I know you will probably never read this, it's arrite, I don't want you to. You deserve so much more than a silly little blog post, but here's a start. I can't say this enough. But you are the best mom in the world and I can never even begin to thank you enough for everything you have ever done for me. I love you.

Home is Where the Heart is

I haven't updated this in about a month or so. So why not now? The best times I write it usually when I'm feeling upset about things, so this would be a perfect time. I don't really know how to start this off and I really don't want to ramble about nothing in this blog. So here goes nothing.

I have never really "fit in" anywhere. It all started when I was twelve years old. I found the most important thing in my life. The love of my life to be exact. Punk rock music. I loved it and still do more than anything, it's one of the only things that matter to me. Ever since then my life had changed. I listened to crazy obnoxious music and dressed horrid to people around me. Not many people accepted my style, but did that stop me? Nope. Never did, never will.

I live in a small, podunk town. I hate it so much. Everything sucks here, I don't think I will ever learn to like it. I guess I can learn to accept New Jersey, but never Emerson. I will forever hate it here. I know what you're think; "She's only a teenager, what does she know?" You are right, I don't know much, but what I do know is all the shit I've been through these past five years. Getting weird looks, people calling me cruel and hurtful things, not being accepted. I understand the fact that I will never be accepted here, I understand it very much so. But that's where the real meaning of this blog comes in.

This blog isn't for making me sound selfish or ungrateful either, because trust me, I'm not. I really do appreciate what I have. I am so thankful for a house to be in, a bed to sleep in, a roof over my head. And let's not forget someone who I love very much, my mother. I appreciate her more than anything. She has dealt with me for seventeen years and is still doing it. She supports me so much and doesn't mind that I'm not perfect. She is one of the nicest women I know and I'm so thankful that I have her for a mom. I also understand that there are so many people out there who have it worse than me, oh, I know. There are people with nowhere to go, people who messed up their lives and are living out on the streets. Those people are the ones who have it bad and I completely do not consider my life bad at all. I appreciate my life because I know there are others who have past away and didn't even know it was coming. I'm so happy and lucky to still be alive.

New York City, "the greatest city in the world." I thought so too until September 27, 2008. Yeah, there are many different kinds of people in NYC, but it was nothing compared to this. I imagined this place to be wonderful, oh, it was. Los Angeles, California. I've never been to such a place in my entire life. It did resemble the city that I had loved so much and maybe that's why I loved this city even more. I don't really know what brought my happiness about this place though. As soon as I got off that airplane and stepped into California, it felt like I was finally complete. It was like I've been missing a piece of me on the inside and once I was there I had finally found it.

To people, this may sound a bit crazy. But believe me, it was one of the best feelings in the world. I didn't have one problem on my mind, any stress, any pain, I felt fresh. It felt like a clean start and I hadn't even entered the city, yet. The cheap hotel I stayed at was absolutely amazing, I've been in nicer ones, but they didn't even compare to the feeling inside of this one. I was happy. I was happy in a shitty little hotel. Everyone around was so nice and calm. It was amazing and so unnatural to me. It made me feel very welcomed and safe.

Once I was in the city, that was the end. It completely took my heart away. A lot of people see it as just another New York City, but to me it wasn't. To me, it was something completely different. Everyone there accepted me. I belonged. They didn't see me as some strange girl, they saw me as Mary Cate. For people to do that around here is very rare. It's all about looks here, you need to look a certain way to be accepted into society. And for that, I will never fit into society. And would you like to know what? I don't care, actually, I'm glad that I won't. Because in California it doesn't matter. It doesn't matter who you are, where you came from, what your background is, what your past is like. Nobody cares about that, it really doesn't matter there.

As I said before, California was something very different to me. It was my home. I don't belong here, I know I don't. My heart isn't here, I left my heart behind in the city of Los Angeles on October 4, 2008. And I won't get it back until around June 20, 2010. As sad as it sounds, it's okay with me. Because I know by then, I will finally be home...

Change

Those who know me, know that I hate change. Change makes me feel like shit, I hate new things. But honestly, I think it's time for me to change. For the past six years I've been the same childish person. I'm growing up and starting to realize everything changes. Even though I hate to admit it, it's true.
Growing up is just a part of life. There is nothing I can do to stop it, as much as I wish there were. I'm seventeen years old now and I need to grow up. I can't act like I'm thirteen anymore. It really breaks my heart to write this because I hate facing change and I am basically going against everything I used to believe in.
Recently, I've been trying my hardest to ignore the fact that I need to change myself. I've been doing everything I've done years ago just to make sure that nothing is different, but it's so hard to do that when everyone else just moved on. I'm stuck here alone and I have no idea what to do. I'm so lost here. I don't understand how I can't wait to get out of here, but at the same time, I want to go back to the past where I didn't care about anything. Everything is changing and I can't deal with it.
I miss everything and everyone I used to be close with. But most of them left me and found better lives. Everyone else moved on, while I'm still stuck in the same place. I miss my old friends. My new ones are greats, but it's not the same. I miss my cat more than anyone, even though I have two others, he was my first cat. I miss going to the mall, even though I hate shopping. I miss the way my life was four or five years ago, even though I was only thirteen or fourteen. I'd do anything to go back...

Backstabbers

Backstabbers are everywhere, they are seriously impossible to get away from. Recently a handful of friends of mine have been facing it without knowing. I mention it sometimes, but they usually don't listen to me. I don't understand why it is so much fun to go behind your "friends" and fuck them over. I haven't been dealing with it lately, but who knows. Everyone loves talking shit and I'm tired of it.
Arrite, I understand that everyone says something hurtful about someone once in awhile, even I do. I'm not going to lie, there has so much shit that used to come out of my mouth with a certain person, but you know what, I'm done. I've stopped awhile ago. And if I'm annoyed with someone or something they do, I say it to their face. I am done with fake bitches and I'm done with backstabbing. It hurts and no one deserves it, even if you hate them.
I haven't dealed with backstabbing in a while, but you never know, someone can be exploiting my name right now as I write this. What bothers me is that my friends have been going through it. I said something to one today so she doesn't get hurt like always. If you recently said something negative to someone, think it over and let them know how you feel. Seriously, grow a pair of balls and say it to their face.

Every Death is a New Beginning

I really don't know how to put this, but my cat died recently. I had no idea until today, actually. He died on Thursday, October 2...the day after my birthday, the same day I originally got him in the first place when I was six years old. My mom told me today because she didn't want to ruin my trip in California. I am actually really upset about this, but on a better note something new was born today, lucky for that person.
I try not to think about it, but I can't help it. What can I say, I grew really attached to that cat. The ironic thing is, I recently started to tell myself not to get attached to anything, because it will lead to heartbreak and disappointment. Everything, and I mean everything, will end up leaving you in the end, trust me. It's sad to say, but nothing lasts forever. I guess this is it, though. There is nothing I can really do about death, right? I can't make him return from the dead and I can't replace him either because there is no one else like him out there.
Cats to me are like people. I actually would rather put up with cats than people. They each have their own personality and are all different. That cat meant so much to me. If you do not own a cat, you will not understand how I feel, but if you do, you can't tell me otherwise. I guess the whole point of this blog was for even me to realize how surprising the world really is...

First Blog, yet

So, here it is. A fresh new start. I always loved to blog and I guess myspace just isn't the place for it, eh? I mean, I have a livejournal, but I guess I just wanted something new. I will still be using my livejournal and whatnot, 'cause let's face it, my livejournal has my life in written in there. This, I suppose will just be for thoughts and feelings towards certain subjects.